


Bugged Sex Mechanics

by Skrellogs



Category: Borderlands, DSP, DarkSydePhil, Dead Rising, Jak and Daxter, King of Hate, Metal Gear Solid, Ratchet & Clank, Sly Cooper (Video Games), Undertale (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Gang Bang, Gay, Gay Sex, Internet, Internet Celebrities, Kidnapping, M/M, Portals, Screaming, Torture, Violence, YouTube, gamer rage, phil gets his ass kicked, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 01:13:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8424913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skrellogs/pseuds/Skrellogs
Summary: DSP was a simple YouTube let's player who was cursed with the absolute worst luck in video games. Due to the incompetence of game developers, Phil keeps getting fucked over by these games time and time again. There was nothing he could do.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my daddy darksydephil](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+daddy+darksydephil).



> Daddy Syde Phil goes on a lubricated sex adventure that spans across multiple gaming platforms and genres

 

 **"FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING HORESHIT COCK ASS IN MY ANUS!!!"** cried Phil as he died yet again. He chucked his PS3 controller across the room, shattering it into bits and pieces of shattered plastic. He held his head in his sweaty, greasy man hands. **"GODDAMMIT, THIS STUPID FUCKING GAME CAN SUCK THE JUICE FROM MY LEATHERY SCROTUM LIKE THE DUMBASS WHORE IT IS!!!"** He continued ranting about his death into his microphone for several minutes, angrily plucking a replacement controller from the basket of duplicates beside his couch and continued playing for his stream. "Look at this shit!! What kind of dumbass game makes falling into lava an INSTANT DEATH?!?!?! That's cheap as hell! There's literally no other game that does this shit!" 

He was playing Jak II, yet another severely aged and outdated "classic" action-platform PS2 game from the early 2000s. He never had the chance to play any of these platforming "classics" from the early days since he was busy playing competitive Street Fighter against other professional players, making him the #1 Button Masher in North America. This, mixed with the fact that the game is littered with bugs, non-existent checkpoints, vague missions, and unresponsive controls, made this game so much harder for poor Phil. Good thing he never wasted his time with this shit when he was younger.

He looked at the stream chat and blocked yet another user who claimed to have beaten the game 100% without dying a single time whilst still a fetus in the womb. Doing his absolute best, he tried jumping from one rocky platform to the next, but, unfortunately, the game had other plans. Despite him pressing the X button, he still fell to his death. "What the hell??!??! I fucking pressed it, you stupid fucking game! Fucking assholes!!!" And, of course, he was sent to the very beginning of the stage, forcing him to play the whole thing over again. He would definitely need blanket therapy after this. You could tell that poor Daddy was stressed past his limit just by looking at his swollen red face. 

His girlfriend, PandaLee, nervously walked into the room at that time, worried after hearing the intense yelling from the kitchen. "U-um...honey? Are you...okay-"

 **"SHUT UP BITCH!!!"** He chucked his glass butt plug at her, the toy hitting the wall next to her and shattering into shiny crystal shards. **"WHERE'S MY DAMN ENCHALUPA??"**

PandaLee let out a puppy-like yelp and hurried back into the kitchen to resume her cooking. Daddy Phil never likes it when she enters the Man Cave. She had her own little Woman Cave in the kitchen where she could do girl things like have her period while he worked. She knew she wasn't allowed in unless she had at least one article of clothing absent from her body.

Phil went back to playing the game. The stream was now filled with angry comments. People were calling him silly things like a "cry baby" or "manchild" or "misogynist" or whatever, but DSP didn't care. He didn't care so much that he went on a rage-filled rant about them for the next 25 minutes and then closed the chat altogether. That showed those meaners. 

"You stupid fucking fanboys can't just ignore how shit this game is. You're just pissed off because I'm exposing a game that was a part of your precious childhood for being a piece of garbage, and you can't accept the fact that I'm right! I'm good at games, okay?! I'm only doing badly at this because I'm not used to this genre and it's not letting me play it correctly! When I press jump, I don't jump. The game is broken and it just doesn't work! I also have no idea what I'm doing because Naughty Dog is full of assholes who thought it'd be funny to not tell you what you're supposed to do! I can't even belie-" 

"Hey, buddy!" yelled a high-pitched voice from the TV, "Could ya knock it off already! _Sheesh!_ I think I'm about to go deaf!"

Phil stopped ranting to look around the room with a confused look on his face. "What the hell was that? There's literally no one here."

The voice talked again. "Over here, genius! Inside the TV!"

"TV?" He looked around again, not knowing what the voice meant. "What TV? I don't see one around here."

"Wha-??" The voice paused, then sighed. "THE ONE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU??! What are ya, _blind???_ _How can you seriously not see me?!"_

Phil stared at the TV with a blank expression until the realization finally hit him. "Ohh, there it is! I didn't see that." He squinted his eyes and saw that Jak and Daxter, the two heroes of the game, were staring right at him! "Wait...what the fuck?! Was that you???" 

"Of course it was me!" said Daxter, who was perched on top of Jak's broad shoulder, "There's no one else here!"

"...How the fuck are you talking to me right now??!! This doesn't make any sense!" 

"We normally try to ignore you," began Jak, who looked quite annoyed, "but we finally grew tired of your constant bitching. So, we decided to finally speak up." He crossed his arms and repositioned his feet for a more intimidating pose. 

Phil's eyes widened in amazement. "You could hear me?"

Daxter clenched his fists and glared at Phil. "A better question would be who _couldn't_ hear you! Jesus Christ, my migraine hasn't gone away since you started your save file!" 

"You are _by far_ the whiniest person we've ever had to be controlled by. I got so pissed off by your complaining that I would ignore you when you tried to double jump just so I would finally die for a short moment and escape your horseshit," Jak growled with utter hatred burning in his soul. He furrowed his brows further and cracked his knuckles. "But now, I'm out of extra lives, and we're gonna get revenge."

"What the fuck?!?!" Phil could feel the chunky diarrhea leaking out of his itching asshole. He tried reaching for the power button, but Jak's arm came out of the TV screen and grabbed onto Phil's wrist to stop him. He swung him around by his arm and threw him across the room. Phil hit the wall face-first, and he was woozy for a short moment. When he sat up and was able to see straight again, he saw the real-life 3D forms of Jak and Daxter in the real world. "Whoa!!! You guys look great in HD!"

Jak then kicked Phil right in the face so hard that you could hear the poopy in his pants squish in fear. "Shut the hell up. Dax, tie him up. I'm gonna get a few friends who'd love to join in on the fun."

"With pleasure, Jak!" Daxter began tying his wrists and ankles together with used tampon strings. Phil could feel his male meat begin to harden in excitement. 

Jak went over to the PS3 and pressed the eject button, taking out his game's disc and carefully placing it inside of the proper case. He then whipped out the Ratchet and Clank HD Collection and popped that disc into the system. He turned on the game and knocked onto the screen. "Hey, we got him. Need a hand?" he asked, holding out his hand.

A furry gloved hand came out and grabbed onto Jak's. "Heck yeah. Count us in." The lombax crawled out of the TV set with Clank firmly attached to his back. He stood up next to the other game icon and rotated his shoulders around. _"Ahh_ , man, it feels nice out here! We should get out more often," he sighed in relief as he stretched his arms above his head. He took out his Omniwrench and spun it around like a badass. "Me and Clank have definitely been looking forward to this for a _looooong_ time now, haven't we, pal?" 

"While I am normally not one for such senseless violence, I am glad we finally get the chance to rip him a new one! _Hehehehehehe!"_ giggled the tiny robot. I love him so much and he's my favorite ok.

As Ratchet and Clank talked and joked with one another, Jak was summoning another hero. He had already turned on the Sly Cooper HD Collection and was now pulling him out of the screen by his long cane. "Good to see you again, Cooper. Excited?"

"You bet! Me and the gang were so excited about this we had to cancel our big heist just to make it here," stated the anthropomorphic raccoon as he pulled Bentley out of the screen as well.

"We were gonna steal this old artifact from the French Revolution, but hey, there's always a next time!" said the turtle. Jak set up his wheelchair, and Bentley was placed in it with care.

"Uhh, guys? A little help?" Everyone stared as Murray's purple fatass was stuck in the damn TV. It took the combined efforts of Ratchet, Jak, and Sly to pull him out completely. "Phew!" he began as he got back on his feet, "Thanks, guys. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten on the way here," he giggled, a light blush blooming on his plush cheeks.

An annoying, nasally laugh suddenly erupted from the smelly, gaping anus in Phil's face. "Haha! Murray, you stupid fucking dumbass fat piece of shit! You're so big and fat, you're such an obese piece of lard ass you fat loser. Go on Jenny Craig! LOLOLOLOL"

Murray looked incredibly hurt while everyone else gave him angry stares. "Don't body shame my friend, pal. You just crossed the line," threatened Sly who tightened his grip on his cane.

Jak spoke up in a deep and incredibly pissed-off voice. _"That's it. I've had enough of you and your rude ass."_ He shoved a used roll of slimy toilet paper into his mouth to finally shut him up. Jack picked up the now fully-erect man, who smelled of farts and old peanuts that you find under your couch, and carried the heaping mass of flesh downstairs to the basement. Everyone else followed suit, except for Clank and Sly, who stayed behind to console Murray and help him regain positive body image. 

Down in the basement, a single light bulb hung from the concrete ceiling. Below that was a simple wooden chair with nails that sprouted out from the seat. Jak placed Phil onto the chair, and the gamer screamed into the roll in his mouth. The nails penetrated his butthole so smoothly and flawlessly. His pee pee was at least 2 whole inches long by now. _"Mwaahhhh~!"_ cried Phil, _"J-Jak!!! Mmmm...!!!"_

With that, Jak punched the shit out of his temple, knocking him out cold for a period of time. 

Later, Phil woke up with a splitting headache and noticed that he couldn't move. He tried moving his arms and legs, but his ankles were strapped to the legs of the chair, and his arms were tied behind his back. The toilet paper was still in his mouth, but his mouth was too dry to spit it out. He mumbled as loud as he possibly could in an attempt to attract anyone who might come to his aid.

The classic PlayStation trio, Jak, Ratchet, and Sly, walked out of the darkness and presented themselves to Phil. "Hello, Philbert," taunted the raccoon, "It's been a while."

"I hope you didn't forget about us, because we sure didn't." Ratchet got up into Phil's face and was dangerously close to rubbing noses with him. "Every time you killed us because you didn't know how to play? Every sexual joke you made towards our female companions? Every time you called us assholes? Those are forever etched into our memories without chance of escape."

"Did you _seriously_ bitch for 30 minutes straight over lava being an instant death? Haven't you ever played _Super Mario_?" Jak asked with sincere disbelief and curiosity. 

Phil mumbled behind the toilet paper, unable to give a clear answer. Jak rolled his eyes and tore the roll from his mouth only for Phil to say, "I am Cornholio! Need TP for me bunghole! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHA!" His laugh resembled that of a half-decapitated sea lion. 

The three game characters only looked at each other and immediately regretted not killing him earlier, but they'd made it this far and put so much effort into their plan, so they just agreed to tough it out and go through with it. Sly gave a smirk and snapped his fingers, and Clank, Dax, Bentley, and Murray all emerged from the shadows to stand beside their partners.

Phil scoffed, "Haha! What, so a bunch of furries and their sex robot are gonna beat the shit out of me? _Ooh,_ I'm so scared!" He let out another gross laugh as if what he said was funny. Except it wasn't funny. It wasn't fucking funny in the slightest. 

"Oh, don't worry, Phil. If we were to experience the pleasure of killing you ourselves, we'd be selfish. So, we invited a few friends," said Jak with a slight cackle. Then, more figures emerged from the darkness and revealed themselves under the light. Frank West from the original Dead Rising was one of them. His dark hair was slicked back, and he was dressed in his bloody leather jacket and jeans. His fancy camera hung on a chord from around his neck. "I've covered wars, ya know." Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series was next to him, and, as his name implies, he had a solid snake right between his legs. Phil thought he looked even sexier than he did in the games, even if he was a gross old guy. Sans, the short and mysterious skeleton from Undertale, was dressed in his blue hoodie and sneakers(not pink slippers ya damn fools, the canon art has sneakers lmao fuck you) and clearly didn't give a fuck. "Hey, looks like you've gotten yourself into a **_shitty_** situation. Heh. Get it? Be...because he shit himself with fear." Lastly, there was Roland from the first Borderlands game. He had his gun cocked in his hands and the 1,000 yard stare in his eyes. _"I've never felt more violated in my life than when you picked me as your character."_

There were a total of 11 badass characters that were pissed off at Phil, and he was already jizzing at the thought of being totally dominated. He squirmed with excitement in his seat, the nails ripping his asshole into shreds. 11 daddies to teach DSP how to play!!!

"Alright, Phil, this is how it's gonna go down." Daxter jumped up into Phil's lap so he could glare into his soul at eye-level. "We're gonna take turns getting back at you for all of the bullshit you put us through. Then, once we've all had our fill, we're gonna kill you and drag your corpse into our world so we can feast on your meat."

"Well," Bentley began to explain, "Daxter will be the one to eat you. No one else is really into that last bit. We do wanna beat you up and kill you, though."

Clank held up his finger and said, "Besides, some of us are vegetarian. Unless your body is composed of tofu and vegetables, I will not take part in this particular feast." Fucking vegan piece of shit.

Phil's anus began sucking the diarrhea back up into his intestines due to the immense gravitational pull of his ripe nutsack. A whole gang of big, strong males were about to beat him into a pulp...and he's never been more turned on in his entire life. The sharp, metal nails digging into his prostate only helped to further stretch out his slowly increasing erection, and he was now close to 3 inches; definitely a record breaker. He could almost see the bulge peaking out from under his phat pussy. A wet spot was forming in the crotch of his pants. Judging by the smell and texture, it must've been...Mountain Dew. (lmao what if Phil's dick was a slushie machine like at the gas station wyd?) Phil almost orgasmed right then and there from the suspension alone. 

"Alright," Ratchet said, rubbing his paws together, "who wants the first hit?" Everyone immediately raised their hands simultaneously. To break this orgy of ties, they all played Rock, Paper, Scissors until everyone was sorted into a line. Roland was first in line to start kicking Phil's ass. As the soldier drew back his fist, Phil flinched as he prepared to get face-fucked by Roland's huge fist. "This is for thinking that you had to buy from loot chests!" He decked DSP in the face, knocking out his two front teeth. He now had two more items to add to his Christmas list for his Santa Baby to get for his baby boy. _"This_ is for skipping enemies and side quests and being unprepared for high-level missions!" He left hooked him right in his double chin, which was now split into a triple chin. "And _this_ is for making shitty content that's cringe-worthy to those who actually know what they're doing!" Roland then punched Phil's pointed man titties several times all Street Fighter style, which made the YouTube gamer even hornier since that's his favorite game. He continuously pounded onto the man's chest like a pair of sexy, hairy bongos, and the sheer force of his manly punches broke his ribs and crushed them into dust. Roland finally stopped when everyone else pulled him away from their victim.

"Hey hey hey, calm down," Jak scolded, "You'll kill the guy! Save some for the rest of us, why don't ya?" Roland was put into the corner and spanked for being such a naughty boy. 

Frank West was next in line. He walked up to Phil and, without saying a word, stared blankly at him. After a long while of silence, he finally uttered, "I've covered wars, ya know," and jumped up into the air to perform a somersault. He spun around in circles until finally aiming his butthole at Phil's head. Frank landed on top of the gamer, his ass completely engulfing Phil's head. Frank's tightened anus was clinging and clenching onto Phil's neck, intensely choking him and making it impossibly to breathe. All Phil could taste was the photographer's deep colon. 

After Phil's life flashed before his eyes, Frank's anus released the man's head from it's enticing clutches, his squishy crevice making a soft pop sound once Phil was removed. It was only gonna get worse from here on out, and our protagonist couldn't be more excited. His throbbing cocklord was already pumping at max speed. Veins and pimples popped up from all over the clothed shaft, making his dick look like it may explode soon. 

One by one, each character had their turn to make Phil their bitch. Sans went all Megalovania on his ass while making more shitty puns because that's pretty much the extent of his character. Solid Snake broke Phil's jaw while trying to open his mouth as wide as possible so he could stuff his Solid Snake into his esophagus and piss in his kidneys. Ratchet used his Omniwrench to choke and twist the gamer's neck while Clank shoved his Heli-Pack blades into his ears and butthole, the blades spinning around and mushing up his brain, eardrums, and butt stuff. Sly Cooper and the gang also had their fun. Sly whacked his spine with his cane. Bentley used his mechanical arms to pick his nose and make him eat his own crusted mucus. Murray spread his legs and released his digestive gases into DSP's face, making his eyes water and his dick get closer and closer to erupting like my asshole this weekend lmao It's been a crazy week goodnight everybody. 

Finally, the last characters in line were up next. It was finally Jak and Daxter's turn, and they would also have the honor of killing him. Jak had an evil, maniacal grin on his elf face, and Daxter was making crude gestures with his weird little rodent hands. "Finally," Jak sighed with relief, "I was growing kinda impatient...but it'll be worth the wait."

"You guys saved the best for last!" yelled out Dax dramatically to his friends, "Stand back and watch as we finally do what we've all been waiting for!"

Phil's palms were sweaty, knees weak, and arms heavy from the intense pain of his erect wiener. The constant barrage of abuse and torture had worn him out. There was vomit on his sweater already. From the smell alone, he could tell it was...Mom's spaghetti. He's nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready for whatever Jak and his sidekick will throw at him. _'Bring it on, you sexy motherfuckers. I can take it,'_ he thought as he braced for impact.

Dax handed his blonde friend a cluster of dark eco crystals. Jak took them and began to transform into his Dark Jak form, gaining great supernatural energy: a perfect and staisfying way to take out their target. While Jak was gaining more power, Daxter picked up a simple baseball bat from the floor and waved it around with a big grin pn his face. 

Phil watched as the man changed before him. He grew stronger and ten times sexier than before. It was certainly magical, and, along with doing things to Jak, it did something to Phil's stinky little wet cock. Some of the dark eco got onto Phil's crotch, and his penis gained great strength as a result. It grew another 10 inches in length and became even veinier than before. His arousal level was much higher than it had ever been, and Phil's sweaty orgasm was long overdue.

The great power of his great penis was far greater than what any god could achieve. His Super Schlong then ripped free from the confines of his jeans and revealed itself to his gang of kidnappers. They were all amazed, yet disturbed, at the great mass and overbearing stench of his magical member. 

Jak and Daxter could only stand and stare in disbelief. "Okayyy," Jak finally said awkwardly, "this is getting fucking ridiculous. Let's just hurry up and kill him so we can get the fuck out if this freak show." Jak then began quite literally punching and kicking the shit out of Phil. The force of his attacks pressed on his bowels and forced gallons of shit to spurt out of his anus at a time. He also shot out energy blasts of dark energy at Phil, but he took it and didn't seem to be affected. In fact, every attack he performed seemed to make his already huge dick grow in size and girth as it was now much longer and fatter than before.

"Oh, god...is he...is he _attracted_ to this???" Ratchet covered his mouth and began to gag.

Jak's eyes widened in absolute raw fear. The dark eco energy drained from his anus like schoolkids running out the front door at the start of summer. _"Let's get the fuck away from this weirdo!!!"_ he panicked, turning towards the exit.

"But what about the plan?!?!" Daxter asked loudly, still holding the bat.

 _"Forget it! We won't need to kill him after all! He's already cursed to be a fucking weirdo for the rest of his life!!!"_ Jak and the others made a run for the basement door, but since they all tried to go through it at the same time, they all got stuck and blocked the exit.  _"Dammit! We're stuck!"_

"Everyone calm down!" Bentley called out to his friends and held up his hands. "We need to form a single-filed line in a civilized manner! Now, everyone put up your fists for a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors..."

Before they could begin, however, they felt a light rumble in the ground grow into an earthquake. It was coming from Phil's overfull dick, and it was about to explode from all of the orgasmic energy building up inside of the greasy, slimy shaft. As a tidal wave of yellow cum shot out of his sticky tip and swallowed the team of video game characters, they screamed in terror and briefly prayed for mercy. 

As the cum drained away, everyone's bodies were revealed. However, unlike before, they were all...naked, Phil noticed. He looked down at himself and saw that he, too, was completely naked, as his cum had seemingly dissolved his clothing as well as the rope that kept him tied to the chair. He guessed that that's also what happened to their clothes. 

Everyone else began waking up, their minds cloudy and bodies trembling. They stood up one by one, and Phil could admire their toned, muscled bodies and how their massive cocks dangled between their long, fit legs. While his dick was no longer godlike in size, as his dark eco energy was released when he orgasmed, it was still hard, and he was very much aroused by the display in front of him.

The game characters all looked at Phil. At first, the gamer thought they'd get angry and try to kill him again, but that didn't happen. Instead, Phil watched as all of their dicks began to point upwards, except for Clank because he didn't have a dick. To make up for his lack in anatomy, he began upgrading himself by attaching a metal cock to his robotic pelvis. Were they as turned on as he was?

When the dark eco entered his penis and transformed it, his penis was also given great powers. When he came on everyone during his orgasm, the dark eco mixed with his gross semen had not only acquired acidic attributes capable of dissolving clothing but also had the ability to change the brain chemistry of those who came into contact with it. So, since the group drowned in DSP's cock juices, they now had the same sexual urges he had, and they were ready to literally fuck Phil in his fat asshole. 

 _"P-Phil..."_ Jak muttered in a shaky aroused voice as he stumbled towards the gamer. His massive cock rifle wobbled from side to side with each step he took. 

"What the hell's going on?!" Philbert asked cluelessly. 

"Phil...we _want_ you..." Ratchet also began trudging towards DSP with hunger in his eyes, his furry cat dick looking especially tasty to him. _"...we want you to impregnate our asses with your cheesy baby gravy....!"_

 _"Yes!!!"_ Bentley moaned as he rolled in his wheelchair, "Fuck the feeling back into my legs!!!" 

Sans' eyes lit up with blue fire. "I want you to _bone_ me in my mouth. Heh. Get it? Because I'm a skeleton...and we all have boners." I fucking hate myself.

Solid Snake and Frank West began rapidly jerking each other off in a rhythmic fashion. "I've covered wars, ya know...in my cum," said the reporter. 

Murray began massaging his large hippo tits, pinching his nipples and causing milk to squirt out like pus shooting from a popped zit. "Cream on me, Big Daddy!!!" But not Big Daddy from Bioshock because he's not in this fanfiction. Ratchet was roughly  pounding into Clank's exhaust port from behind like a savage, wild animal. While the duo did that, Sly went behind Ratchet and began pounding into his booty, creating an energy field of furry sex love.

Jak and Daxter were still coming towards Phil like hungry zombies with hot dicks still intact. Daxter still wanted to eat Phil, but not in the way he originally intended; he wanted to eat out his crusted anus and slurp the poop soup from his ass. 

Phil's erectified nipples began ferociously jizzing squeezy cheese. He grunted, and big clumps of chest hair sprouted from his breasts. The hair spelled "Cum 2 Daddy" on his chest, and that's what Jak and Daxter did. They pounced on top of him like a bunch of ravenous, horny leopards on the hunt. Daxter placed his furry weasel anus on Phil's left nipple and began spinning around like a top, the hairy teat penetrating the small rodent and making his butthole bleed. Jak began fucking his sweaty, greasy armpit and got several of his pubes stuck in his gaping urethra as a result. 

Solid Snake stuck his fucking dick into Phil's ear, and it was so long it came out of the other one. Snake fucked his head so hard that his balls slapped Phil's face with each thrust of his groinal area. Snake should burn in Hell for being unfaithful to his waifu Otacon. Murray also joined in and licked the sweat from the folds of the let's player's neck fupa. Bentley lapped at the fatass hippo's nutsack from below like a thirsty puppy. 

One by one, each of the video game characters piled onto Phil and began making violent, passionate love to him. Ratchet and Clank shoved Phil's fingers into their own assholes for him and felt the cool ranch dust from under his finger nails flake off and enter their bodies. Sans was shoving magical floating bones up Phil's greased penis hole as well as his own tail bone. "Looks like we're both _boned_ , eh Phil? Get it? We're getting fucked in the ass!!!" Then Sans disintegrated into dust because I've had enough of Undertale shit.

 Jak began to Jak off on Phil's neckbearded face, releasing his elf seed into his mouth and other orifices. Daxter was French kissing Phil's anus and biting on the outer lips of his anus, causing Phil's teeth to chatter in excitement and arousal. He began to piss from his nipples and gave a warm, golden shower to his group of lovers. Their bare skin became slippery, including Dax's thick fur. He was so slippery that something slipped out of his ratty shithole. A light eco crystal fell out and was absorbed into DSP's master cock, making it inflate full of sweet vanilla cum. Phil was getting closer and closer to his biggest orgasm of the night.

Murray's fatass was bouncing up and down on Phil's manly dongus. His plentiful booty was practically made of rubber and kept bounding too high, so Phil filled the hippo's anus with caramel so his dick would stick to his furry prostate like glue, keeping his ass in place to take in Daddy's sweet cock. Phil shoved the tip of his nose into Roland's chocolate starfish and took a big, deep whiff, taking in the natural aroma of the solider's colon. He could smell digested fajitas and kidney stones in his asshole and licked his lips in hunger. He moved to begin sucking up the contents of his crapper, and he chewed the contents thoroughly. Phil was finally getting too horny and erect and couldn't take any more arousing sexual activity. He straight up jizzed a whole ocean's worth of magical man soup onto everyone, the whole basement turning white and sticky.

Phil had to sit back and pant, basking in the afterglow of his might orgasm. He laid there on the cold floor for what felt like hours, and during that whole time, it was oddly silent. Groans and sexy gasps no longer echoed between the stone walls. The video game characters before him all stood there, motionless and silent. Suddenly, their bodies began to glow and pixel into bits. The light eco in his cum was turning their physical forms back into 1s and 0s and back into their game worlds. Their pixels all floated back into their game discs one by one, and Phil could only watch as his new lovers dissipated forever.  

Phil sat there, sad and alone and covered in the jizz of the ones he'd just lost. He began scraping all of the cum off of himself and the walls, wanting to collect each drop and put it all in a jar as a keepsake. He wanted to remember this evening for as long as he lived. However, just like the characters, their jizz evaporated away, leaving Phil alone without any chance of having the sperm necessary to reproduce their children. With a heavy heart and a dick he had to now drag across the floor, he trudged up the stairs of his basement and made his way to his Man Cave.

PandaLee was there waiting for him. _"Phil, honey...I-I made your enchalupa...are you...happy?"_ she asked sweetly, still wincing and afraid of being struck across the ass like the bad girl she was.

DSP smiled and took the plate. "Thank you, sweetie. I shall enjoy this enchalupa, and I appreciate the hard work you do around here."

PandaLee stopped looking afraid and instead looked surprised. "You... _aren't_ gonna yell at me?!"

"No, babe...I just realized that I've been a bit of a cock head. From now on, you can come into the Man Cave as much as you want..." He hugged his beautiful girlfriend and kissed her, and she gladly kissed back. Phil was now changing his ways for the better. When making let's plays, he no longer made shitty, sexist/oversexualized jokes towards every female character, and he got glasses so he could see the games' obstacles and objectives better. Soon, he became much more tolerable, and he got a ton of subscribers. He went from 100,000 to 2,000,000 in a few months, and was soon able to take PewDiePie's place as the #1 most subscribed creator on YouTube. With this newfound power, he was able to take over the world and force endangered aquatic mammals to become his devoted sex slaves. That's how it ends because I'm tired lmao good night everyone, cue Seinfeld theme. 

**Author's Note:**

> B sure 2 rate comment & subscrieb


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